We saw our little embie earlier this week and boy did it grow since we saw it for the first time just 2 weeks ago!! It actually looks like something other than a dot — now it’s more in a blob state, lol. 

But according to the apps I’m reading, our baby is growing arms, legs, getting rid of its tail, and even has eye lids!! Holy cow! 

We did have a minor scare when we had our ultrasound. For a few seconds we couldn’t hear a heartbeat. Both our hearts dropped. Turns out the speakers were turned low and the heartbeat is very strong (171) but still – just makes you realize how vulnerable we still are. I asked my friend Terri “do you ever just not feel scared” and she said “nope, always a worry.” Just makes you think even more what a true and amazing miracle life really is. 

The last week for a lot of things is just around the corner! It’s the last week for all these pills I’m taking everyday:

At 10 weeks the placenta takes over so no need for the estrogen and progesterone pills, the placenta takes care of that now! 

And it’ll be the last time we go to our fertility doctor! We’ll go at 10.5 weeks and have one last ultrasound then we’re graduates and head off to the OB! I don’t know if I’m ready to be graduates 😞 we have made such life lasting relationships with the wonderful people at the fertility clinic. But their job is done! And we’re so blessed that we get to go see the regular baby doctor because so many people don’t ever get to that point. Thank you God for blessing us with this next step. We are forever grateful! ❤️

7 weeks and 1 day. That’s how long I went before having “morning sickness” except mine isn’t in the morning, haha. It’s more of an evening thing. I’ve been feeling nauseous for a few days now and I’ve only thrown up once which I guess is good, right? Lol The baby is growing and doing what it’s supposed to do! And I don’t care if I feel sick until the day he/she is here! The feeling of nausea is actually comforting because I’ve longer to feel this for so many years. 

That probably sounds so weird to you but to me it seems like a normal thing to think. When you’ve been trying to get pregnant for 3.5 years, all you want is the morning sickness, the bloating, the engorged boobs, the not fitting into your clothes…all the things that are not fun at the beginning of pregnancy. For a long time I thought I wouldn’t get to experience those ‘feels’ (even though some days and even when I type this I feel super sick and it does suck) but I was worried that would never be me. I think Laryen thought it wouldn’t be me too, which is ok. With all we’ve went though there’s probably a lot of people who thought that. We wouldn’t get to experience pregnancy at its finest. Im so happy that I get to feel sick because there are so many women who won’t get to experience that. And the heartache that comes with that is a million times worse than what I’ve been feeling for the past week. I’m truly blessed to be feeling the way I’m feeling. 

Now…where are my Tums? 

Btw…just a couple more weeks of these pills! Seems like our little guy/gal likes them since its like 10,000 times the size it was a few weeks ago! Wowsers!! 

The little embryo that could. Those 5 words keep repeating over and over and over in my head all week. The little embryo that could is real. The little embryo that could is alive. The little embryo that could has a heartbeat!

And a strong heartbeat (131 at 6 weeks, 4 days!)

So many emotions when we saw our little embryo that could. It made it so real. So real that this speck that we can barely see is going to grow into our beautiful baby! So exciting! But I was surprisingly sad. It made my heart hurt for the other 3 embryos that didn’t make it. I just cried so much after we left the doctor. (Blame the hormones too) but it made me miss the other ones. This little embryo that could is such a miracle and already so loved.

 

And now that we had our first ultrasound….that means NO MORE SHOTS! (say what?!!!)

 

Goodbye progesterone shots — Hello progesterone pills!
I take one of these in the morning, another at night along with my estrogen pills. So in total I’m taking all of these pills every week   —–>

And it’ll stay that way until I’m 10 weeks ( which I can’t believe is right around the corner!)

 
And I just have to tell you, I already knew I had the best husband in the world but guess what he did. As a celebratory last shot — he let me give HIM a shot in the butt! Nothing was in the syringe of course. I was super nervous to give it to him (so now I know how he felt) …but boom I just did it and boy did he bleed lol! Afterwards he said it hurt to sit down (and now he knows how I FEEL)! Lol. I am so lucky that he is my other half and I can’t wait to see how amazing he is when he’s a daddy to our embryo.

And we are officially in blueberry stage! It’s grown so much since it was a poppy seed! So so SO amazing! (I think it’s 10,000 times the size since just a few weeks ago!!)

Pregnancy brain in full effect. I’ve kind of felt it the past couple of weeks but tonight– FULL EFFECT! 

First of all we went on late so I was so tired!! Instead of saying Mayor Dan Pope on the news, I said Mayor Dan Poops. #facepalm!!! How embarrassing!! I blame the little sweet pea growing inside of me for that Freudian slip. Oy vey!! It’s not like he’s the new mayor of Lubbock or anything! Anyways…ugh, lol.

Prego brain is real people. That’s all I can say about that!

 

My numbers are going up! Tuesday it was 9,266.

Friday….17,925! We are cruising!

Oh and if you’re wondering: my butt is officially numb from all the shots. At least it doesn’t hurt as much then, right? Lol

Can’t wait for Tuesday when we get our first picture of our baby (or babies!) Both Laryen and I think there’s only 1 but we’ll see for sure oh so soon!

Can’t really believe that the title of my blogs don’t start with IVF or FET Day ___. Still so surreal. I really don’t know when it won’t feel that way to be honest. But we’ll just keep thanking God and praying good things continue to come.

I get my blood drawn twice a week. They want to see it double every 72 hours.

 

From last Friday to Tuesday it went from 68-608!

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then Tuesday to Friday it went from 608-2,835!! We hope the numbers continue to rise! That means our little embie (or embies) are growing like they’re supposed to.

I’m feeling good. Tired, a little crampy, and slight nausea but not throwing up. But even if I was barfing every where all day long I don’t care at all!

 

Here’s a look at my  meds for the week: 4 estrogen a day and 1 big old progesterone shot.

P.S: And if case you were wondering, coffee still tastes like crap! 😉😉

Coffee didn’t sound good. That was my first clue that something was up. If you know me, that’s super weird because I LOVE my coffee time! But for the past couple of days I’d make it, drink a few sips and just not be feeling it. Right now typing up this blog I’m staring at my coffee thinking the same thing — I’m just not feeling you right now. But I’m ok with that. I’m ok with being disgusted by coffee for the next 9 months.

Yes, 9 months. Seeing it typed out right there is so surreal. The past few days have been so surreal. Telling family and friends has BEEN.SO.SURREAL.

 

 

Even seeing these 2 pink lines     ~~~>

(which I’ve never seen before!!) doesn’t seem like real life.

 

 

 

 

Even when we went to the doctor and got blood work done with a beta reading (which measures the pregnancy hormone in my blood) doesn’t seem like real life. (P.S I got a 68 for the 4 week reading! The nurse said anything over a 50 is icing on the cake!)

 

But lo and behold it is real life.

WE’RE HAVING A BABY!!!

Which means out with the old:

And in with the new:

Yes, as of Friday May 20th, I’m 4 weeks pregnant! It’s still super early but with the emotional roller coaster that comes with the infertility game of life, we’re counting every little victory as a win. And maybe that’s why we’re still cautiously excited. I think we just are scared to freak out because it’s natural for us to expect another shoe to drop. That’s what’s happened over the past 3 1/2 years of trying to get pregnant. We would get over one hurdle and then come to a road block. Then clumsily get over that hurdle and clear another one and then BAM! Another road block. Your emotions would go up and down and up and down…and we feel like every time they’re up, they always go down. Prayers that they’ll stay up this time.

I’m still on my medicine. 4 estrogen pills a day (2 in the morning, 2 at night) and my progesterone shot. This will last until we’re 10 weeks. Low levels of progesterone and estrogen are the leading reasons behind miscarriages, so the more that’s in my body the better!

Since I’ll be just taking a picture once a week now (to show my growing belly -WEIRD!!), here’s a look at all the shots and pills I’ll take every week:

I will go to the doctor to get more blood work done 2x a week for the next 2 weeks. They want to make sure the beta numbers are going up. They’re supposed to double every 72 hours. Then we get our first ultrasound around 6 1/2 weeks. That’s when we’ll hear the heartbeat. AMAZING!!!! We’ll also see how many are in there! Since they put two embryos in it is possible that both of them stuck which is a-ok with us! We are just praying for one, healthy beautiful baby! But if there’s more, than that’s just icing on the cake!!

Oh: and we bought our first baby purchase! They’re so teeny, tiny!!!

Here’s a look at how big our baby is: 4 weeks=poppyseed! (The little speck) lol

Inspirational words, verses and sayings have always been front and center in my life. I found these this week and I am so blessed that we are to this point. We are pregnant. We are still the 1 in 8 but we never stopped trying to get over the hurdles. I hope our little embies see what perseverance, hope and prayers can do in life. You NEVER ever give up. ❤️

The countdown is on until we know if our frozen embies are liking their home and want to hang out and play for a while. 

I was talking to Laryen last night. And I told him that I feel guilty because I’m not feeling excited. I’m scared to get excited. Because we know how hard infertility is and just how much of a roller coaster of emotions it truly is. I feel bad because I don’t want our future kids to think I’m not excited that we’re on this journey. We are SO excited– it’s just SO hard. And one of the hardest parts is that it’s so much out of our control. This is the time where faith is in the driver’s seat and we have to trust that He’s steering us in the right direction. ❤

No more steroid pills (which is nice because they taste terrible!). Just 4 estrogen pills and 1 big ol’ shot! 

I’m feeling good despite being pretty tired. Last time around I was tired too and super excited about that thinking it’s one of the first signs of pregnancy for a bunch of women…but come to find out it’s a side effect from progesterone (which pregnant woman produce a lot of, thus they’re more tired). So I guess that means Laryen is giving me the shots right!! 

Laryen got some ‘progesterone shot 101’ the past couple of days. 

He decided to brush up on his skills to make sure he’s doing everything he can to make sure it’s going in right. He is– I just think it was a little too low which made it hurt more than it should. Still not very fun either way! 

Look what else: we filled up one syringe holder, now we’re moving on to another. The needles are from both IVF and the FET but that’s a lot of needles in those things. 

I think I want to count them after we’re prego- it’ll be interesting to see how many shots we actually went through! 

We read daily bible readings and this one was on Day 36. I love what it says and I plan on focusing on that until we go in for our pregnancy test. God is good all the time. 

P.s: (even though this is the most vague fortune in a fortune cookie you can get — I’ll take it!!) ☺️

What we learned tonight: make sure you check to see if the progesterone has cooled off before we stick me. I usually heat it up with a heating pad since its in a thick oil to try and make it go in easier. Well this time it was on there for a little longer than expected and that is NOT recommended! 

I feel like hot oil is oozing in my butt cheek — and there’s also a huge knot! 

#InfertilityProblems #ButItllBeWorthIt ☺️☺️