5 months. In 5 months from today this little miracle in the making is due. Wow. It’s kind of a lot to take in- to think about how wonderfully different our lives will be in 5 short months. All the waiting, praying, hoping will come down to that one day. All I can say and think is YAY!!!!!!! And hey, it’s ok with me if the babe wants to wait or come earlier than 5 months from today– you just keep baking as long as you need sweet thing! 

It’s also crazy to think that we’re almost halfway there — 20 weeks is just around the corner! Now that I’m feeling better and not as exhausted it’s going by so.fast!  I hear it only goes by faster when you watch your little one grow bigger everyday! 

Oh if anyone reading this who has been pregnant before will understand this: but the prego hormones are a real thing! I always cry when I see this Amazon commercial: 

And I cry at stupid things!! For example, Laryen was watching a show about the ocean and it was talking about how a mama octopus lays 100,000 eggs and then lays by them for 6 months, never leaves, never eats- all it does is care for its babies. Then the babies are born AND THE MAMA OCTUPUS DIES!!!! Yes, just dies. Then it showed some big starfish eating its body. How.sad.is.that?! Not really sad for a normal person but for me? Oh the saddest thing in the world! “She sacrificed herself just for her babies,” I say to Laryen through my tears. He just smiles. (I think he’s also caught me crying at heartfelt McDonalds commercials too). Oh hormones. 

If it didn’t feel real before, it does now! Not only has my belly kind of popped, we sent out announcements to our family and close friends and posted about it on Facebook! It’s so sweet to hear so many wonderful words from friends and family all over the place!

We debated back and forth whether to tell the Facebook world about everything we’ve gone through to get to this point. Laryen wanted to keep it more to close friends and family and I agreed – but part of me wants more people to know this isn’t any normal pregnancy. I’m a helper – I want others who might secretly be struggling to get pregnant like we did for years that there’s others out there. There are people just like ‘us.’ And if it’s not infertility, it’s something else. EVERYONE goes through struggles. That’s what life is all about. It’s about how you overcome and live with those struggles that tests the kind of person you truly are in the world. It’s all part of the story; and this part is the beginning chapters of our little embie. I hope he/she look back and realize just how precious life is and how much love already surrounds it’s little 17-week old heart.

That being said I think we will eventually tell everyone our story. Maybe it’ll happen next week, maybe when the babe is born, msybe on its first birthday. I want our story to help someone. Even if one person feels more at ease about what’s going on in their life then it’s worth it.

Here’s a look at our announcement:
The front side:

And the back:

That’s pretty much everything it took to get the little nugget pictured in the middle. We kept all our needles and medicine bottles from the ivf and frozen transfer. It’s been in our medicine closet because I knew I wanted to do something with it. I’m a visual person and I wanted something tangible to show everyone the love, science, prayers, hope and pain. And in smaller than a millisecond of time, I would do it all over again. No doubt about that.

Flutter, flutter, flutter away!! I’m in love with the little flutters I feel in my belly! I think it’s the baby — lol. I’ve never felt it before so it makes sense that it’s the babe, right? Even if it’s not our baby it makes me feel better to think it is. When we were at the fertility clinic we would go to the doctor every 2 weeks- this once a month crap gives me anxiety. 😉 I know everything is ok but I just worry because there’s no way to know what’s going on in there. I guess that’s where even more faith comes into play! And talking with all my mom friends- it sounds like you just don’t stop worrying ever when you’re pregnant and it just continues when you’re a parent lol.

It’s so exciting because we sent out announcements to a few close friends and family members — feeling much more real! And the bump is getting more real too (or I really loved that Mexican food I had for dinner!)

We also have started with the nursery! Light grey walls and white furniture feels like
the perfect nursery mood to me! I’ll add a few other artistic flairs to it in the next few months so stay tuned! 😄

 

 

Can’t believe this is where our baby is going to sleep! I also can’t believe how BIG a freaking crib is! I mean it’s for a baby and it takes up so much space! Is this child going to be a sumo wrestler or something?!