Can’t really believe that the title of my blogs don’t start with IVF or FET Day ___. Still so surreal. I really don’t know when it won’t feel that way to be honest. But we’ll just keep thanking God and praying good things continue to come.

I get my blood drawn twice a week. They want to see it double every 72 hours.

 

From last Friday to Tuesday it went from 68-608!

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then Tuesday to Friday it went from 608-2,835!! We hope the numbers continue to rise! That means our little embie (or embies) are growing like they’re supposed to.

I’m feeling good. Tired, a little crampy, and slight nausea but not throwing up. But even if I was barfing every where all day long I don’t care at all!

 

Here’s a look at my  meds for the week: 4 estrogen a day and 1 big old progesterone shot.

P.S: And if case you were wondering, coffee still tastes like crap! 😉😉

Coffee didn’t sound good. That was my first clue that something was up. If you know me, that’s super weird because I LOVE my coffee time! But for the past couple of days I’d make it, drink a few sips and just not be feeling it. Right now typing up this blog I’m staring at my coffee thinking the same thing — I’m just not feeling you right now. But I’m ok with that. I’m ok with being disgusted by coffee for the next 9 months.

Yes, 9 months. Seeing it typed out right there is so surreal. The past few days have been so surreal. Telling family and friends has BEEN.SO.SURREAL.

 

 

Even seeing these 2 pink lines     ~~~>

(which I’ve never seen before!!) doesn’t seem like real life.

 

 

 

 

Even when we went to the doctor and got blood work done with a beta reading (which measures the pregnancy hormone in my blood) doesn’t seem like real life. (P.S I got a 68 for the 4 week reading! The nurse said anything over a 50 is icing on the cake!)

 

But lo and behold it is real life.

WE’RE HAVING A BABY!!!

Which means out with the old:

And in with the new:

Yes, as of Friday May 20th, I’m 4 weeks pregnant! It’s still super early but with the emotional roller coaster that comes with the infertility game of life, we’re counting every little victory as a win. And maybe that’s why we’re still cautiously excited. I think we just are scared to freak out because it’s natural for us to expect another shoe to drop. That’s what’s happened over the past 3 1/2 years of trying to get pregnant. We would get over one hurdle and then come to a road block. Then clumsily get over that hurdle and clear another one and then BAM! Another road block. Your emotions would go up and down and up and down…and we feel like every time they’re up, they always go down. Prayers that they’ll stay up this time.

I’m still on my medicine. 4 estrogen pills a day (2 in the morning, 2 at night) and my progesterone shot. This will last until we’re 10 weeks. Low levels of progesterone and estrogen are the leading reasons behind miscarriages, so the more that’s in my body the better!

Since I’ll be just taking a picture once a week now (to show my growing belly -WEIRD!!), here’s a look at all the shots and pills I’ll take every week:

I will go to the doctor to get more blood work done 2x a week for the next 2 weeks. They want to make sure the beta numbers are going up. They’re supposed to double every 72 hours. Then we get our first ultrasound around 6 1/2 weeks. That’s when we’ll hear the heartbeat. AMAZING!!!! We’ll also see how many are in there! Since they put two embryos in it is possible that both of them stuck which is a-ok with us! We are just praying for one, healthy beautiful baby! But if there’s more, than that’s just icing on the cake!!

Oh: and we bought our first baby purchase! They’re so teeny, tiny!!!

Here’s a look at how big our baby is: 4 weeks=poppyseed! (The little speck) lol

Inspirational words, verses and sayings have always been front and center in my life. I found these this week and I am so blessed that we are to this point. We are pregnant. We are still the 1 in 8 but we never stopped trying to get over the hurdles. I hope our little embies see what perseverance, hope and prayers can do in life. You NEVER ever give up. ❤️

The countdown is on until we know if our frozen embies are liking their home and want to hang out and play for a while. 

I was talking to Laryen last night. And I told him that I feel guilty because I’m not feeling excited. I’m scared to get excited. Because we know how hard infertility is and just how much of a roller coaster of emotions it truly is. I feel bad because I don’t want our future kids to think I’m not excited that we’re on this journey. We are SO excited– it’s just SO hard. And one of the hardest parts is that it’s so much out of our control. This is the time where faith is in the driver’s seat and we have to trust that He’s steering us in the right direction. ❤

No more steroid pills (which is nice because they taste terrible!). Just 4 estrogen pills and 1 big ol’ shot! 

I’m feeling good despite being pretty tired. Last time around I was tired too and super excited about that thinking it’s one of the first signs of pregnancy for a bunch of women…but come to find out it’s a side effect from progesterone (which pregnant woman produce a lot of, thus they’re more tired). So I guess that means Laryen is giving me the shots right!! 

Laryen got some ‘progesterone shot 101’ the past couple of days. 

He decided to brush up on his skills to make sure he’s doing everything he can to make sure it’s going in right. He is– I just think it was a little too low which made it hurt more than it should. Still not very fun either way! 

Look what else: we filled up one syringe holder, now we’re moving on to another. The needles are from both IVF and the FET but that’s a lot of needles in those things. 

I think I want to count them after we’re prego- it’ll be interesting to see how many shots we actually went through! 

We read daily bible readings and this one was on Day 36. I love what it says and I plan on focusing on that until we go in for our pregnancy test. God is good all the time. 

P.s: (even though this is the most vague fortune in a fortune cookie you can get — I’ll take it!!) ☺️

What we learned tonight: make sure you check to see if the progesterone has cooled off before we stick me. I usually heat it up with a heating pad since its in a thick oil to try and make it go in easier. Well this time it was on there for a little longer than expected and that is NOT recommended! 

I feel like hot oil is oozing in my butt cheek — and there’s also a huge knot! 

#InfertilityProblems #ButItllBeWorthIt ☺️☺️

Look at what Tyson started doing when Laryen gives me my shot:He’s so sweet! I think when he sees the big ol needles he just needs to make sure I’m ok and daddy’s not hurting mommy. I love my fur babies!
I rested most of the day today to give the embies as much time just hanging out without outside stress as possible. It was nice to anchor just the 10:00 news and then head back to bed. Tomorrow is back to normal! Then just 2 days of work and the weekend is here! I also started my steroid pills today; 1 in the morning, 1 at night. I’ll take those for 5 days. Still taking the 4 estrogen pills a day. I think that’s the case until we take the pregnancy test.

I’m feeling good! I’m a little crampy but since the embies are supposed to implant 24-48 hours after the transfer, I’m HOPING the cramps are a good sign and implantation is happening! We’ll know soon enough!

Our embies are now in their new, warm fluffy home! (Including the little embryo that could!)

Both made it through the thawing process! We were a little worried because there’s always a chance they won’t make it but they did! Our embryologist Dr. Ahmad said it takes a few hours. They welcome in water and fluids in 5 different stsges until it gets back to its original size and stage before it was frozen! It’s so fascinating! 

With a full bladder (yes, full) we went to the clinic and walked over to the fertility lab with our favorite nurse Alicia. She’s so sweet and always helps us focus on the big picture. 

If you read about our transfer last time, it’s the same thing this time around! See how controlled inside the lab is? They do that to make sure it’s the best environment for the embryos to thrive! 

We get all scrubbed up and good to go! I made sure that I didn’t have any makeup, lotion, hairspray or anything like that because the embies don’t like it! They use an ultrasound machine to see my uterus and the full bladder is a marker so they know exactly where to place the embryos! 

Then a catheter is put into my uterus. Dr. Huang can see it thanks to the ultrasound (which is pushing on my full bladder! That’s the hardest thing about the whole thing…trying not to think about how much you have to pee!) Once it’s in the right place Dr. Ahmad puts our embies in a tube. There is fluid, embryo, air, fluid, embryo, air. Since they’re still so microscopic the air is used so you can see when they are put into the uterus. 

And here they go: 

You can see two little white dots – that’s the air pockets pushing the embies into their new home! All around it is my lining where they’ll implant in the next 24-36 hours! I hope they find a ‘Home Sweet Home’ sign soon!! 

Here’s a look at the embies:

This was taken right after they were thawed, but by the time they were transferred they had developed even more! They grow so fast! We think the one on the right is the little embryo that could! Just a little smaller and not as fully developed in the stage as the other, but it’ll get there! 

After relaxing for about 10-15 minutes we headed home! Easy peasy! I just laid low and rested the rest of the day and focused on the little guys making a home. It’s out of our hands but we know no matter what happens we are blessed with so much. We got so many texts and calls from friends and family — we always say it but we are so blessed with amazing people in our lives! Thank you for helping us through this step in our journey of becoming parents. 

BTW: Heres a look at my new favorite picture. Love this man more than anyone will ever know! 

Welp, we have a new record. Laryen had to prick me 3 times with the big progesterone needle tonight. As he said, “Wow you definitely haven’t bled this much before.” 😳

That being said: look what day it is! 

Embryo transfer eve!! (Take 2)! Tomorrow morning we’ll get our little embies. I’ve been doing a lot of meditating, praying and quiet time thinking of everything. I’m visualizing everything that I can. I keep repeating in my head “positive thoughts, positive uterus, positive embryos, positive outcome.” I can see the transfer. I can see my belly. I can see the embryos implanting. I can see them growing. 

Let’s hope what I’m seeing and visualizing becomes a reality. We are praying that this is our time. 

My butt hurts. I don’t know why but this time around it hurts a lot more than last time! I have been working out a lot more than when we were doing IVF so maybe I lost some fat in my ass?! (I can only hope!) or maybe there’s scar tissue left over? Who knows! All I know is it is a little on the tender side! 

We are getting excited for our transfer! 2 days and counting! Tomorrow we’ll find out what time the transfer will be and we’ll go from there!