Today is like a fun game of infertility word scramble! Can I have a “T” and I’ll buy a vowel…an “E.” I’d like to solve! FET!!!

Luckily a lot of the medical jargon in the infertility world is shortened to 3 letters so I don’t need to redo my whole banner I made for our IVF cycle! (it’s the little things in life, am I right?!! LOL) Anyway, we are close to getting to the next step which will be our frozen embryo transfer, or FET. You probably remember we got 4 blastocysts from our IVF cycle. They put in 2 during the failed IVF cycle and froze the other 2! So this next step is transferring the 2 frozen embryos into me! Same odds as the IVF; 70% chance for a positive pregnancy test and 50% chance for a heartbeat at the first ultrasound — so definitely something to stay positive about!

We don’t have the exact dates or details yet but hopefully we will in the next week or so. It sounds like a pretty easy process compared to the IVF. A LOT less medications which means fewer shots — even though I WAS becoming pro status! I don’t care if it increased the shots by a million, I’d do it if it meant that we would become parents!

It’s been a roller coaster of a month as far as our emotions go. I was super busy after our failed IVF, which was good for me. It kept my mind off of the heart ache. But when that busyness stopped, the sadness returned a lot more than I thought it would be. I’m feeling a lot better than I was, it’s just still not all gone yet…and honestly I don’t know if it ever will be. You just learn to live with this “new” feeling of what you’ve been through. Just a couple of days ago Laryen told me, “you know I’m still sad that it didn’t work, I just want you to know that.” He’s been my rock through all of this and he’s focused so much on making sure I’m ok that I think he just wanted me to know that he still has the same emotions I do about it, even one month later. And I love him so much for that.

This has become a boulder in our race over the hurdles. The boulder is getting smaller and smaller every day, but it’s still there. We just have to keep focusing on the finish line: becoming a Mommy and Daddy. And we’ll cross it some day, I know we will. And just thinking of that makes both our hearts so happy.